Collecting Aquariums T-Shirts

"He's asleep. I think. I don't know. It really creeps me out."

Piranhaclaus

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Pets.

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"I think it loves us."

'I wish I was creative'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'So what have you been up to?'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

"After we bought the aquarium, the pump, gravel, grass and heater, we couldn't afford any fish."

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

Pet Store: Clown Fish.

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

"Do you think there's life out there?"

Zombie Fish

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

'Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.'

Fish school toilet protocol.