Cold Drink Avoider Pillows

'No ice for me thanks: I'm sick of ice everywhere...'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Happy Hour

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"It's pumpin spice latte season - I feel it in the air."

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

'Single or double?'

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

"You appear to have caught that bug that's been going around my waiting room."

'I'm having what he's having.'

Global Warming.

"India ink, straight."

"Here, but you'd better hurry and drink it before it gets warm."

'The ice machine's broken!!'

"And a bag of peanuts."

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

OUT of ORDER

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

'For future reference, just the bottle goes in the chiller.'

Try and stay cool, Y'all

"This is why I like my wine chilled."

Beefeater cocktail

"I thought, 'Join me in a cup of coffee', was just an expression!"

"Hey, Honey, is the lake still co...never mind!"

'Sad hour. All drinks double the usual price'

'Cold enough now?' (Beer in block of ice.)

Pet Cryogenics.

'To you, it spoils the wine; to me, it improves the ice cubes.'