Cognitive_science_buff Gifts

"Life without Subtitles."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

Albert Einstein

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Apples for sale

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

God Sneezes Out Creation

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

X-ray Psychology.

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Banana Split Personality

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."