Brain Science Buff Gifts

'I didn't hire a lawyer, but I found a neuroscientist who can explain why it wasn't my fault.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

Albert Einstein

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Apples for sale

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

God Sneezes Out Creation

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

You must be this tall.

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

Genius Envy

Corona Funeral

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'It's not just any old rucksack Nathan. Nasa's entire spring collection is built around this baby.'

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.