Cog In The Machine Appreciator T-Shirts

"It's our standard contract. You agree to be a powerless and insignificant cog in our vast corporate machine and we agree to oil you occasionally."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"I speak Latin, you know."

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

Old-fashioned computer

'It's a hybrid.'

"...but, seriously..."

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"This office is state of the art. Human error has been replaced by computer glitches."

"It's still in beta."

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

Perpetual Motion.

"Joey ripped me off. Last week I showed him this ad for a 1964 Chevy Impala...and he went out and bought it."

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

Have you installed the heater?

"Sorry, grandpa, but wiggling the antenna won't restore your cable and Internet."

At the Flip-Flop Quality Control Center.

"...and this is my better half...!"

"He's one of my favourites. You feed him milk and cookies and he gives you a present."

Wine Factory

Walter decided to tune a piano because he didn't know how to tune a fish

"Oh he's just lucky, and a robot."

Bank Front

"I understand that curiosity is a good thing in non-cats."

Fussbudget 1989

'I can't find the 'any' key...'

"Blimey, who'd have thought that at this level of play a contestant would stoop to an illegal false belly."

'Try using this.'

'Play Beethoven's Fifth and this ten pence piece is all yours!'

"Not exactly the kind of morale boosting I had in mind."