Cog In The Machine Appreciator T-Shirts

"It's our standard contract. You agree to be a powerless and insignificant cog in our vast corporate machine and we agree to oil you occasionally."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

"I speak Latin, you know."

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

Old-fashioned computer

'It's a hybrid.'

"...but, seriously..."

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"This office is state of the art. Human error has been replaced by computer glitches."

"It's still in beta."

"Sorry, grandpa, but wiggling the antenna won't restore your cable and Internet."

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

Perpetual Motion.

Have you installed the heater?

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"...and this is my better half...!"

"He's one of my favourites. You feed him milk and cookies and he gives you a present."

Wine Factory

"Oh he's just lucky, and a robot."

Walter decided to tune a piano because he didn't know how to tune a fish

Bank Front

"I understand that curiosity is a good thing in non-cats."

Fussbudget 1989

'I can't find the 'any' key...'

As it were

'Play Beethoven's Fifth and this ten pence piece is all yours!'

"Not exactly the kind of morale boosting I had in mind."

'Try using this.'

"Blimey, who'd have thought that at this level of play a contestant would stoop to an illegal false belly."