Coffee Shop Visits Pillows

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

You've Had Enough!

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"I'd say business was brisk."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

How About Serving Us For a Change

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

Mistaken identity.

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

Hipster Coffee

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

"Oh, that Jane. I thought you were talking about Jane Austen."

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

'What are you staring at? You have free wi fi here, don't you?'

"Crumble an empire on that!"

"I knew you'd like this place."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'