Coffee Shop Patron T-Shirts

"Okay, dictation monkey, can you read back to me my Hypochondriac's Handbook rules to live by?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Do you have any catsup?'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Non-Power Breakfast

Decapitated coffee.

National Coffee Day

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Coffee

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking

How About Serving Us For a Change

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

Choice hellhole

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Kitty's Coffee Shop

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

"Come in, minion."

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'