Coffee Shop Connector T-Shirts

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Reading the sports pages.

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

How About Serving Us For a Change

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

Sign reads: No lingering over a good cup of coffee.

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

"I know nobody here works with each other, but it seems like morale is down."

Hipster Coffee

Aliens Coffee

"Thing about human interest stories is, they always presume you're interested in humans."

'How long has what been going on?'

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

'That's enough cream. Please stop.'