Coding Humor Fan Prints

'Great Moment #200 in Computing: Columbus discovers the COBOL Islands.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

Terry had a computer bug.

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

Hardware and software

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"It's amazing! There's even a place to put your beer!"

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

"Dude. You need to get cable."

Religion and technology.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"They misspelled your avatar."

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'Our research shows that downloading happy songs prolongs computer life by 20.'

"He has encolosed the money as an attachment so we just have to print it out...!"

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

"I've heard of click bait before, but this is ridiculous!"

Our genius techie kid is hacking your bank account while your read this.

Moo Tube.

Twitter followers: Wile Coyote

'Floppy Disk Horror Movie.'

"To save power, my dad goes into sleep mode. But, unlike a computer, he doesn't instantaneously awake and resume working."

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

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