Cocktail Party Chatter Gifts

"I won't suffer fools gladly. Yourself excepted, of course."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

"Aperitif?"

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Corpse Reviver Number 2

"You fit in. You just don't match."

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."