Cocktail Comedian Pillows

"It's Olive isn't it?"

I don't like it when lawyers put coffee on my desk. Relax, judge. It's tequila.

'Try this, dear, it's enough to take your head off.'

'It's Cliff Richard's favourite Christmas tipple - mistletoe & wine.'

A Good Batch.

Yoga for Alcoholics

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"I forget to drink."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

Teapot

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'The first cocktail.'

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

Bar Therapy

The New Square Mile Regulator.

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Oh, no! Hugo's tried snorting Pimms"

"It's for his shakes."