Cockpit Comedies Pillows

'Damn it! I can never remember which one's the lighter.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"Student driver"

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

I brake for Jetliners.

Uprooted

'How the heck are we supposed to land on a runway that's upside down?'

'Tommy move, I can't see the screen.'

Balloons and the Hedgehog

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

'Sorry about the screaming during that air pocket, back there.'

The ascent was long, hard and full of privation and Bob almost made it to the top of the mountain...

If you're really listening to the control tower, why are you playing air drums?

Indoor firework in bathroom called Flash-In-The-Pan.

'The job is yours if you're willing to shave.'

"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."

"Height and position? I'm six foot tall and in the pilot's seat."

Kids watching TV - 'They watch television all the time now that junk food adverts have been banned'.

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

'It's his mother. They're inseparable.'

'Happy Xmas!'

Chicken chaps

'This is the pilot. If you look to the left you'll see London, look to the right France - inside the cockpit the co-pilot's underpants.'

'It's no use, our radar is out! I'm afraid it's all up to you now Wally!!'

"Bigelow, let's try and set this thing down just once without saying 'Oopsy-daisy.' "

"Please pay attention as the stewardess demonstrates our new procedure for drunken passengers"

"Tower to AVX114. . . I don't think the problem's with your altimeter!"

'Only one arm rest? Sheesh! Airlines are getting so cheap!'