Cockpit Humor Lover Pillows

'It's no use, our radar is out! I'm afraid it's all up to you now Wally!!'

"Thanks, babe."

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

I break for toilet paper

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

Gas Pedal Sticking?

"Student driver"

I brake for Jetliners.

Driving a Lemon.

'It took us 12 years to genetically engineer him. We are going to make millions!'

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

'Sorry about the screaming during that air pocket, back there.'

Fart propelled speedboat.

If you're really listening to the control tower, why are you playing air drums?

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

Clear Lake.

"Height and position? I'm six foot tall and in the pilot's seat."

'Damn it! I can never remember which one's the lighter.'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

'It's his mother. They're inseparable.'

'Okay, sit there. . . but give me the keys.'

"Let me call you back. They're toeing my car."

Fly driving a car with little humans on the windscreen.

'This is the pilot. If you look to the left you'll see London, look to the right France - inside the cockpit the co-pilot's underpants.'

'Tow trunk lifting itself..'

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'

'Quit giving it gas...you're going to flood this thing.'

"Bigelow, let's try and set this thing down just once without saying 'Oopsy-daisy.' "

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.