Cockpit Humor Lover Pillows

'It's no use, our radar is out! I'm afraid it's all up to you now Wally!!'

"Thanks, babe."

I break for toilet paper

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

"Student driver"

I brake for Jetliners.

Driving a Lemon.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

'Sorry about the screaming during that air pocket, back there.'

Fart propelled speedboat.

Clear Lake.

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"Height and position? I'm six foot tall and in the pilot's seat."

'Damn it! I can never remember which one's the lighter.'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

'Okay, sit there. . . but give me the keys.'

Fly driving a car with little humans on the windscreen.

"Let me call you back. They're toeing my car."

'It's his mother. They're inseparable.'

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'

'Tow trunk lifting itself..'

'This is the pilot. If you look to the left you'll see London, look to the right France - inside the cockpit the co-pilot's underpants.'

"Bigelow, let's try and set this thing down just once without saying 'Oopsy-daisy.' "

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

"Please pay attention as the stewardess demonstrates our new procedure for drunken passengers"

"Why do you keep saying I have the right to remain silent."