Coal Enthusiast Pillows

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

EPA - Environmental Persecution Agency.

WW Global Bank: 'No wonder you're another day older, and deeper in debt, you can't earn a profit loading number nine coal!'

'Just one of those things...get out of town night and day.'

Biggins regarded his gift from Santa with mixed emotions. On the one hand, he now had a whole year's worth of research funding...

"God!! I love to smell industrial pollution early in the morning!"

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

Roasting the Moneybox

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

Merry Christmas.

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

Car Breast-Feeding

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

Flash Cuisine

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

Creepy Camp Stories.

Goopco Oil Co. What a party! They're having a contest to see who the crudest oil molecule is!

Nobody likes a smore loser

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."