Coal Collector Prints

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

Sarah Palin Fact #2783, Sarah Palin makes her own diamond earrings by squeezing coal.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'It must be the dead sea.'

Try me/try me/try me...

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

true love.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Feeling for shells

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

Red Wine

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."