Co-ops T-Shirts

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Golfing Boss

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

Dogs and their thoughts

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'I hope that training aid doesn't give him the idea that bigger laptops could mean more output.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'You know, just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to let them fly.'

"He excels at putting out fires."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"Emotional support dog happy hour"

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'