Clutter Comedian T-Shirts

'Oh Doris!! I just love what you've done with the place!!'

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'Hows it coming?'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Museum. It's great we got this job moving statues here at the museum. CRASH! That was no time to make a joke about a "piece of art."

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

Keister Island

'Well, what office doesn't have a little mess.'

Laundry baskets labelled 'pajamas' and 'not pajamas'.

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

'Oh, I know I get an allowance for cleaning up my room, but I'm on vacation this week.'

Carpet cleaning

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?

'Your halo didn't slip. You've got ring around the collar.'

"I don't think it's possible for your room to get any messier!"

"The rest of the cubicle owners asked me to tell you to clean up your cubicle. You're bringing down the value of the other cubicles in the office."

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

The Creative Process

"I wasn't honking at you! Isn't it obvious I was honking at the guy 10 cars ahead of you?"

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'