Clutter Comedian T-Shirts

'Oh Doris!! I just love what you've done with the place!!'

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'Hows it coming?'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

'Well, what office doesn't have a little mess.'

Keister Island

Laundry baskets labelled 'pajamas' and 'not pajamas'.

'Oh, I know I get an allowance for cleaning up my room, but I'm on vacation this week.'

Carpet cleaning

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

"The rest of the cubicle owners asked me to tell you to clean up your cubicle. You're bringing down the value of the other cubicles in the office."

The Creative Process

"I don't think it's possible for your room to get any messier!"

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

'You talk about a clean dog!'