Clumsy Juggler Gifts

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Before I can stop and smell the roses, I need time to stop and plant the @#$% roses.

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

'He doesn't actually drink much. He spills most of it!'

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

With one badly timed dunk teabreak was ruined.

'I told you not to slam the door!'

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

Museum. It's great we got this job moving statues here at the museum. CRASH! That was no time to make a joke about a "piece of art."

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

"I've got a bad feeling about this Kenneth.'

'Take a message...'

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

Mountaineer accidentally knocks off the peak of a mountain.

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

"I dropped my phone and even though I picked it up within 5 seconds, the screen still cracked."

"I never know whether I should get good goggles I'll lose after three runs, or cheap ones I can't see out of after five runs."

Well, I can't sit around all day - I have things to do.

The most sought after profession in 2010 is stressed out, middle class, soccer mom on medical marijuana.

Dancing.

Newton's Clumsier Brother Discovers Gravity.

Spilt wine

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."

Humpty Dumpty's Cat. You really gotta learn to land on your feet.

"You stepped right in dog ship and now you're dragging it all over the house."

Painter Achieves A Few Seconds Of Flight As Ladder Falls

"I'm raising four kids, a husband, three pets and I work. This is nothing."