Clucky Clairvoyants T-Shirts

"You'll never soar like an eagle, but your wings will make you very popular."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Asking out a palm reader.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Quantum Psychic

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"You're solemates!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'It's Blurred.'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

Ill next Thursday

"Your husband says BOO!"

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

"A new set of dentures! Is that it?"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'