Cloud Nine Giggler Pillows

The gates of heaven have security cameras.

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Damn defibrillators.

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

Ahhh, spring baseball.

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

Heavenly Take Out

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

The Cheese God

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

"Sorry. I'm molting."

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

'Dress code?'

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

Angles on cloud 9 always get to live it up.

'If this were really heaven there would be fire hydrants.'

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

'Angelfood always DID make me break out.'

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

'I managed to take it with me but it seems to be useless here."

Life after death. It's all about altitude. "Whaz up?" "Aside from you pants - everything."

Well, that routine physical didn

'Isn't it heaven to always be right...'

Whaddaya mean "oops"?

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'