Cloud Nine Giggler Pillows

The gates of heaven have security cameras.

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Damn defibrillators.

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

Ahhh, spring baseball.

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

The Cheese God

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

"Sorry. I'm molting."

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

Angles on cloud 9 always get to live it up.

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

'If this were really heaven there would be fire hydrants.'

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

'Angelfood always DID make me break out.'

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

Life after death. It's all about altitude. "Whaz up?" "Aside from you pants - everything."

'I managed to take it with me but it seems to be useless here."

'Isn't it heaven to always be right...'

'Just because you were a good salesman doesn't mean you can come in!'

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'