Cloud Nine Casino Lover Gifts

"Geez, those guys on Cloud 9 got slot machines!"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

Heavenly Take Out

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Once a sinner, always a sinner!"

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

Angel using his hal to play golf.

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

'Dress code?'

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

'If this were really heaven there would be fire hydrants.'

Angles on cloud 9 always get to live it up.

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

'Angelfood always DID make me break out.'

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

'I save these for casual Fridays.'

'I'm considered a saint, but my mother always thought I could've done better.'

Well, that routine physical didn

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'

"There, would you believe it - Made in China!"

'Whoever would have thought you couldn't get in without a jacket and tie?'

"With no snooker tables, it's not my idea of heaven."