Clothing T-Shirts

"If they fit, we can return them."

"Thanks. It's vintage."

Sensation in the Hamptons: A Man Strolls Down Main Street Wearing a Tie.

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to dress myself."

'All this stuff's made in sweatshops - its awful! I'm not buying clothes someone's sweated on!'

"It's raw, unprocessed wool."

Pants...Before & After

Ripped and worn out jeans are much more expensive then regular jeans.

Size 0, formerly known as Size 6.

As his hearing worsened, Larry had to buy louder and louder clothes.

"It's finally 'sweater on, then off, then on again' season."

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

Man going into men's room in kilt, woman going into women's room in trousers.

'Are you sure 'One Size Fits All' is a designer label?'

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

Trendy wolf says to wolf in sheep's clothing: 'That's SO last season.'

"You see, sir? It fits you like a glove!"

'Of course it's more than we can afford - you want us to lose our image in the neighbourhood?'

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

How to read the dress code?

"Since I'm not poor like you, I can afford to have scruples. . . I would never buy cheap clothes made with child labour."

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

Objects in mirror fit better than they appear.

'Hey guys, wouldn't it be alot easier if we just wore layers?'

Designer Shoe Dwellers

Fittings for jeans: 'unfortunate paunch', 'persistent lumps', 'just weird.'

"Well, here comes shorts weather."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

A Mussel is checking out some shirts for Mussels

'This outfit...does it only come in this color?'

Choosing What To Wear.

"Frankly, Edna, I think it's more noticeable than your shoes not matching your dress."

'Dr Franz? Where can I find more of these support hose?'

'That sweater would fit you better if you would diet.' 'Okay, what colour should I dye it?'

'Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?'