Clothes Hater Pillows

"Think of it -- you'd never have to fold another shirt."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Men's Department. I want a tie that says, "I hate ties."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'The kids were rebelling against the new school uniform policy, so we had to make some design changes.'

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

"Bill and I hate the same books."

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

"Cool shirt."

"I'm trying to be myself and you're not helping."

Style Consultant

'Bernie,when you hang your waders up to dry you are supposed to get out of them first.'

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"My tailor just won't accept that I've grown as a person."

"Don't worry. The button is purely decorative."

"Do you have any camouflage pants? I want to hide my hips."

'The fad is to wear hospital staff uniforms - not patient gowns!'

"Inspected by #16."

"...Now will you believe me! It's too...big!"

Shrink Resistant Shirts. That means they shrink but they don't want to.

Zoo. The idea to dress the animals in clothes in not working out well. The leopard refuses to try anything new. A leopard will never change its spots. Ironically, the penguins are most uncomfortable on casual Friday. Penguins like their formal wear. If I get a button off line when dressing the girafde, I'll be behind schedule all day. Worst of all, zebras has a horrible fashion sense. Yikes! Stripes with plaids!

'Miss, could I try this dress?' 'Only if You pay in advance!'

'Dang animal activist! I'm wearing mink because I am one!'

Fashion Magazines.

'forget men. I can't even find clothes I want to go out with more than once.'

'All statement-making is up to you!'

'Apparently it was only his fear of heights that stopped him from jumping.'

'If Miss Stabler had meant for me to read, she wouldn't have told me to have a nice summer.'