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"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."

"This is Miss Jones, Doctor - I want you to cheer her up. She's been through hell recently."

'Don't worry. I've got your back.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

Hospital.

"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."

'Promise me Doc: If I don't make it, don't let my family anywhere near me...'

Whoa, that is one ugly baby!

'If things don't go well, tell me you'll pull the plug. I want to know you'll be provided for.'

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

'What do you MEAN this IS the show?!! Let me see the tickets!'

"I have an enormous favor to ask you."

"I don't want to be defined by who I am."

David Copperfield is Hospitably Received by Mr Peggotty

Surprise.

'Is that a rhetorical question?'

"'...Love, honor, cherish til death do us part'? Wait..."

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

"I see someone has already come for your sex life."

'All it says is 'loyal and trustworthy friend', but that's not the real me.'

"My entire life flashed before my eyes, and I was folding laundry half the time."

Fish and Chips - 'They were very close.'

"It's important to be close friends with the pharaoh, but not so close that he wants to be entombed with you."

'If it weren't for my husband, we'd be the perfect couple.'

Breaking up was hard. The rejection, loss and emptiness. Not to mention all the nasty butterscotch ripple effects.

"You can't have a beef with me no more, I've gone vegan."

'If you're God's gift to women, I'd rather just have the money.'

'You've got to admire his gallows humour.'

Letterman Show: 'He's always been at my side...the one consonant in my life...'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: A Bob Named Sue

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

The Last Sweatpants

"All my friends have either died or had a sex change."

"Not now, Shmata!!!! We're social distancing."

"Avoiding something, aren't we?"