Cloakroom Attendant Mugs

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

"You're lucky, dear. I was a hat-check girl when everybody wore a hat."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

'You'll see, Kid: The pay is good, the hours are good, but it is a boring job...'

"You don't need a claim ticket... I'll know which one is yours."

Cloakroom

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

University Book Store.

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'No need to text me your answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"

"Do you have any why-to books?"

Book Shop

'There you go, bringing up the PAST again!'

audiobooks...

"I'm looking for a book on ESP..." "I know..."

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

'Got anything on happy marriages?'

"I'd like to be tried by a Jury of my Seers."

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

Visiting the Opera

Staff picks

Undergarments drying on washing line propped up with lance.

'Medium well, please.'

'I'm looking for the book that tells how to be less materialistic without actually giving up any stuff!'

'I don't need to check, sir, I'm positive we don't have any pop-up books for kids.'

'I'd give it five minutes if I were you'

"Do you have 'The Oxford Companion to Real Estate'?"