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'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

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Someone who knows apostrophes

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Second lifeReal life.

Thesaurus Company

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Editor.

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Internet Cafe.

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'