Clinical Trial Tracker T-Shirts

"We still don't understand how this happened. You were with the placebo control group."

"#notguilty."

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"Let's take in a trial."

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

"Well, the drug's no good, but the side effects are bitchin'."

"So how exactly am I supposed to give a self-driving car a ticket?"

'Put it under my microscope!'

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

Drugs - 'Placebos' and 'Ex-strength placebos'.

'Your honor,does this look like the face of a killer?'

'If you have nothing to hide, why are you hiding?'

Judge

"Here we go, blockbuster season..."

"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

"May I remind the jury a guilty verdict for my client will trigger defamation of character lawsuits."

'Jury foreman, I'm going to assume that you've reached a verdict.'

'I think he's lost confidence in his attorney.'

'You Honor, all my client asks is that you give him a 79th chance.'

'Since this your first offense, I am sentencing you to seven months of jury duty.'