Clever Graffiti Appreciators Pillows

Campus police are dorm troopers.

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"That'll be five bucks."

Gay Times...

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"They're so like us."

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

"She's a miniature."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

"What do you mean Halloween ISN'T a paid holiday off?!"

Stop Ironic Graffiti

From Here You Can See Bugger All

Forbidden Vegetable

"That's my novel."

"I think we both know who did it...."

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

Chicken comedians.

Peacekeeping?

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

"You're not the sleeping beauty I fell in love with."

Getting employees involved in decision making can help give them a sense of ownership. Sometimes, a little too much.

Cosmetic pouches.

'IT'S NOT YOU!'

"I'm leaving you,Jerry-I need more from a man than just scintillating conversation."

"Remind me again, did the President say that or was it the Kardashians?"

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

It is what it is. Settle down! Stop being such a worrywart. What's the worst that could happen? Inactivists.

"Boneless, gluten free, vegan, grass fed, free range, bananas."

Monster Buskers

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

Every Day Is Fundraising Time