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Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

"Staff support"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Cimafunk

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

A child interrupting family prayers

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."