Claustrophobic Philosopher T-Shirts

'I didn't think you'd like spelunking, but do you listen to me? Heck, no.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"I should've never studied canon law."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

The Three Kinds of People

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"I don't believe in egrets."

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever