Classroom Magician Gifts

Ms. Hudson had noticed a sharp decline in misbehavior ever since the rear-view mirrors were installed.

'Welcome to our staff. Here's a curriculum guide, a roll book, and a bag of tricks.'

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

'Some days, I think they can understand every word I say.'

'My job is to challenge young minds. Please try to cooperate, so that I don't lose mine.'

By making bogus voodoo dolls of her more unruly students...

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'But I digress...'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

The Life of Pi

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"