Classroom Clown Pillows

Young Stephen King

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

Life In Grade A.

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'Once again, you were right only fifty percent of the time, Have you considered a career as a TV weatherman'

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

'When does the screen saver come on?'

'The 5 is silent.'

It's a text! From Sir! He's giving me a detention for having my mobile on.

'I plan on becoming an auto mechanic when I grow up. Would you settle for an estimate?'

You're awesome, Larry! When that teacher said 'there are no dumb questions'...you sure proved HER wrong!"

"Johnny is absent minded, lazy, easily distracted, loaf of bread, milk, half a pound of cheese...."

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

'Yes, that person there...'

"Maybe I'd get better grades, Dad, if you came up with some kind of stimulus package."

'Name two pronouns.'

'Wrong, Mr. Kelly. And might I add that 'rectum' is not the answer to any mathematics problem.'

'How did my Chinese ancestors keep from falling off the earth before Mr Newton invented gravity?'

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

Pirate school.

"Let's work really hard today—your parents are eager for deliverables."

'What it all boils down to is that I'm being punished for being a member of the human race!'

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

Sent to the corner on school sports day.

'For show and tell I downloaded our teacher's credit report from the internet,'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

'And pray what is it this time in your never-ending infantile wisdom?'

'Tommy, stop throwing pencils into the floor or it's back to the principal's office!'

'Morning Headmaster ... er, I think we may have a knife problem in the school.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"I didn't do my assignment because I just didn't feel like it. I'm hoping my honesty is so refreshing that you won't give me a zero on it."

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'