Classroom Chaos Maestro Gifts

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Did I throw which spitball?'

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

'Ok, who threw that?'

"Your room isn't a rubbish tip! go and mess it up now!!"

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

'It was animal day at school...I had a dog, Merry had a cat, Robert had a tarantula, and the teacher had a cow.'

"Your son has a remarkable memory."

"I think Mr. Jackson is dismissing the class!"

"This is going to be a fun year."

"Alright, who was it? I said no one is to make a peep!"

"Daniel Mitchell bit me. Does our dental plan cover that?"

"Vocabulary lesson. Billy Corey taught me the meaning of the word trouble."

"I can't believe I got an advanced degree for this!"