Classroom Chaos Maestro Gifts

'Stevie, please put down the glue gun and do your math.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

'Did I throw which spitball?'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

'Ok, who threw that?'

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

"Your room isn't a rubbish tip! go and mess it up now!!"

"Every day it's the same. My class starts out as Sesame Street and ends up as Jerry Springer."

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

"This is going to be a fun year."

'It was animal day at school...I had a dog, Merry had a cat, Robert had a tarantula, and the teacher had a cow.'

"Your son has a remarkable memory."

"I think Mr. Jackson is dismissing the class!"

"Daniel Mitchell bit me. Does our dental plan cover that?"

"Alright, who was it? I said no one is to make a peep!"

"Vocabulary lesson. Billy Corey taught me the meaning of the word trouble."