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"Oh no...that's the third substitute teacher this month!"

'Ok, who threw that?'

"Vocabulary lesson. Billy Corey taught me the meaning of the word trouble."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"I'll be right with you but I have to take this call first."

"Ms. Bain really lost it today."

"Do you have to do that here?!"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Global Education

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

Beginning of the school year

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Did I throw which spitball?'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

School boy

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

A small clown sits at the back of a class room - 'Mr Jenkins, do you always have to be the class clown?!'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! - they have flat-screen blackboards!'

'I look forward to my first year as a teacher. I wrote lesson plans, attended in-service workshops, and decorated my classroom. Preparation is half the victory. It's the other half that scares me.'

Never declare a food fight on artichoke day!

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'