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'It was animal day at school...I had a dog, Merry had a cat, Robert had a tarantula, and the teacher had a cow.'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Global Education

'He has a learning disorder.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

Beginning of the school year

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Did I throw which spitball?'

School boy

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! - they have flat-screen blackboards!'

'A sinkhole ate my homework...?'

'I look forward to my first year as a teacher. I wrote lesson plans, attended in-service workshops, and decorated my classroom. Preparation is half the victory. It's the other half that scares me.'

Never declare a food fight on artichoke day!

'Ok, who threw that?'

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

"Every day it's the same. My class starts out as Sesame Street and ends up as Jerry Springer."

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'