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'It was animal day at school...I had a dog, Merry had a cat, Robert had a tarantula, and the teacher had a cow.'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Global Education

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

'He has a learning disorder.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

Beginning of the school year

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Did I throw which spitball?'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

School boy

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

'A sinkhole ate my homework...?'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! - they have flat-screen blackboards!'

'I look forward to my first year as a teacher. I wrote lesson plans, attended in-service workshops, and decorated my classroom. Preparation is half the victory. It's the other half that scares me.'

'Ok, who threw that?'

Never declare a food fight on artichoke day!

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

"This is going to be a fun year."

"I think Mr. Jackson is dismissing the class!"