Classicism T-Shirts

Roman sculptor murdered by his sculpture

Gavrila Derzhavin

"The End of Classicism as we know it."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

Venus

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Archimedes statue with a lever

'Where was the TSA?'

Playdough's The Republic

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

A surprise in heaven

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

"I miss the Augean stables."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'Caesar salad?'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Tragedy/Schadenfreude