Classical Music Pillows

Life Without Mozart

"Mostly Mozart, nothing. It's all Mozart or no Mozart."

Ludwig van Beethoven

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

"And now, God help us all, Rachmaninoff's Concerto in C Minor."

"Can Wolfgang come out and play?"

Orchestral Conductor.

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"

'All right Billy, until your 'staccato' touch improves, we'll be having our piano lessons here at the stove.'

An orchestra cymbalist is tempted by a fly.

'His BACH is worse than his bite.'

Musician having a brain scan.

Beethoven's 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and Fifth.

Supply was out of harps.

Violinist.

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'You know, that's a TYPO.'

Don't sit next to the violinists.

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

"Come on, you know the words! Bum bum bum bum!"

Wolfgang Mozart

Joseph Haydn

On your mark, get set, go!

Gustav Mahler orders a salad.

'For my next selection, I will download a music file from the internet.'

Double Bass

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

Mozart's improvisational skills, along with his lack of financial security, often led to brilliant inspiration.

"Where there's Bruch, there's mass."

"I don't want to play for the audience. I want to play for the fans."

A Concert.

Three great regrets.

Doggy conductor

Pyotr Tchaikovsky

Bassoons.