Classic Story Fans Pillows

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

Dish ran away with the spoon

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

'Yes, all at once!'

Thomas Hardy

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

Upper West Side Story

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

William Tell

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

Giant Headless Horseman

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

"Good evening, Charles - windy out, is it?"

David Anderson vs. Goliath

'I know how you can get him to notice you.'

Peter

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

Social media in fairy tales

'Icarus, I think your sat nav is failing.'

Hans Brinker - the early years.

B.B.C. Watchdog