Classic Showdown Aficionado T-Shirts

Chicken Sheep gunfight

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"Skate or die."

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"Only one of us can be 'The Funny One'."

Abacus.

Classic Halftime Shows (Super Bowl III)

Musical Fight

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

"Pistols at dawn?"

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'ON GUARD!' 'Touche.'

"This chat room ain't big enough fer th' two of us."

Yeah, maybe this would work better outside.

"This gown just ain't big enough for the both of us."

People about to have a duel see man digging a grave.

"We don't let computers mess up your medical records. We do it by hand."

"You wanna piece o' me? Huh? HUH?!"

Alright, Hutchins - This 'toon ain't big enough for the both of us!

'Well he said my outfit clashed, and dang if it didn't get me sorta hot. Although in retrospect, I can see what he meant.'

'I'll be glad when this guy's large muscles cause him to tire badly during these late rounds.'

'Em... Hang on a minute.'

Battle of the Television

Are you ever worried people will see all the stuff you put online? Not at all … because I don't put anything online. I'm not on Facebook, I'm not on Twitter, and I conduct all my business in person so they can be charmed by the twinkle in my mustache. You are looking at a man who's totally off the grid, little buddy. It's like talking to a Neanderthal. I also shave with a razor-sharp sliver of granite my grandfather bequeathed unto me.

Man with a remote control in a stand-off with a cowboy on TV.

"When it comes to technology, Fred lives in the moment. The moment is 1987."

"That's a clock? Where does it display the time?"

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought it off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

"It's sundown. Where is he? Did I tell him sundown or sunrise? I said sunrise...I must look ridiculous."

Ski Lift Duel.

Dance showdowns of the Old West.

Sword Fight

"Hey, no spoilers!"