Classic Bickerers Pillows

Bert and Edna Bentley - At it since 1943.

"This next one's another oldie."

You had me at vintage.

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

"A classic lowrider bike usually is built on a late 1960's Schwinn 20-inch frame."

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

'Lion!'

Musical Accidents

Snake listening to music on headphones.

Welcome,dear, to the Garden of Weedin.

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

Modern Day Christmas Carolers

"I have four stomachs and one of them always seems to be hungry.''

Restricted: Do Not Cross

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

"I studied ancient history while I was out sick. I read the magazines in my doctor's office."

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"

'Mary tells me you own a motorcycle.'

Marvin preferred the old fashioned way of arguing, before instant replay.

"I'll be performing the operation, and this is the anesthesiologist."

His patience running thing, the ref pushes the mute button and ends the argument.

'It's an old biking injury.'

It says 'the sooner we get Twitter set up the sooner he can stop sending these bloody birds'.

"I've never been so insulted in my life! If my arms could reach, I'd slap your face!"

Jericho revisited.

"Yes, you'll do it? Or yes, you wish I were dead?"

Ventriloquist and his dummy both on mobile phones.

'I did a speed reading course yesterday.' - 'It's incredible! I read Moby Dick in 27 minutes this morning!' - 'It's about a whale or something.'

'It wasn't MY fault - I was just being me, whereas you were being YOU!'

"You never do anything you say you'll do! I swear, sometimes I think your moos are meaningless."