Class Clown Appreciator Gifts

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'Who can tell me where the declaration of Independence was signed?'

My report may be a little hard to read. The toner cartridge was on empty when I printed the report.

'I flunked all my subjects, but I won 'Miss Congeniality.''

"If you weren't so funny all the time, I'd probably laugh more often."

"Robert, why is it necessary for you to walk up and down every aisle three times whenever you go to the pencil sharpener?"

"No, Bobby, there's no such time as 'Beer o'clock'!"

'Miss, you always say that you never punish anyone for something they haven't done? Well I haven't done my homework!'

Welcome to the Funny Farm.

'My homework? Why, at home.'

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

"You were lazy in school, you had only bad grades. . . now look at you! Three years in prison!"

Ethics exam cheater.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Yearbook

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

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