Clarity Conqueror Pillows

Rage.

"Any questions?"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Second lifeReal life.

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Must get a longer cable."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

Contest to enter the University

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

Computer Gamers.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

'That was a tough one.' Dentist fell on the ground

"We have a problem. It's called the competition."

"What you're experiencing is a 'Laying Claim to Your Own Life' moment of clarity. Don't be alarmed. The condition is usually temporary. Just ignore it, and in a day or so, you'll be back to your mindless, numb and robotically conforming self again!"

'How do these glasses feel?'

'It's a tax on taxes.'

"Eureka!"

"The classics can be so intimidating."