Clairvoyance Fan Pillows

"Interesting guy. He predicted the collapse this year of the Mets, the Giants, and the Soviet Union."

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Asking out a palm reader.

Quantum Psychic

"You're solemates!"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'It's Blurred.'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"Your husband says BOO!"

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"A new set of dentures! Is that it?"

Ill next Thursday

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."