Civilization Satirist Gifts

Civilized Salmon

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Cannonball!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Now you can send it."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

COWMIKAZES

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'for more obit info, go to...'

Alabama Traffic Jam