Civilization Satirist Gifts

Civilized Salmon

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'Cannonball!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"Now you can send it."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

'Einstein's blackboard as he left it'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

COWMIKAZES

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

Litter Tray Stonehenge

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'for more obit info, go to...'

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