Civil Defense Workers Pillows

Civil Defence

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"What was I thinking?!"

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Why Cows Leave Home

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

How the US Succeeded in Afghanistan

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

Timber preservation

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"From this you make a living?"

Tied up in red tape.

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

"Sorry boss...Elon said no more public spending...but folks will know it's you."

Giving Up a Little Privacy

Hello, you've reached the private line of the Secretary of Defense. At last! We tried calling you all day yesterday to alert you to an imminent threat. How did you get this number? It was coming straight at your nation-state at speeds approaching Kebin 2. What are you talking about? What's "Klebin 2"? Apologies. In earthlingese that would be "mach 23," or 24.140.16 kilometers per hour. Good lord! I'd better wake ... Not to worry. Our sensors locked on to it as soon as it launched from your North

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

'Big deal! -- anybody can build a prefab!'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

"The figures are accurate. We've rounded-off to the nearest billion."

'I FEEL YOUR PAIN!'

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

"They're spelt differently!"

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"