Civic Comedian T-Shirts

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

Just duty excuses.

Recycling: Plastic, Tin, Campaign Promises.

"We were going to adopt a highway, but Rachel thought there would be less red tape if we adopted an overpass."

"Great job dealing with all those mail-in ballots. Seriously, top notch."

"The paper's running horoscopes geared to residents of our city. Here's Leo: 'You'll be frustrated by local politics, delayed by road construction, and pay too much in taxes.'"

Tax the Poor

'...and I promise not to make any rash promises...OOPS!'

Campaign Headquarters: For a $500 contribution, the candidate will shake your hand ans sustain eye contact with you for five seconds.

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

Entering Washington, DC. Today's Polticial Atmosphere is TOXIC.

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

'You know, if we play it right, campaign finance reform could be pretty lucrative.'

"He can't tell his left from his right."

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

"Russia is run by rich oligarchs. America is run by rich insurance companies."

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Manhole Warning

Gary Johnson

The Slumber Party.

"Goddamn it Randy, the constitution gives us the right to bear arms..."

Now THAT was a speech with something for everybody!

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'