City Versus Nature Debater Gifts

"I don't think I ever before-realized the distinct difference between northern and southern California."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"Woo-hoo!"

"I don't know which makes me happier: switching to natural gas to save money or watching the fight about fracking in order to get that gas."

Tonight's Debate. Nature versus Nurture. You believe in heredity over environment? Yep --- I was just born that way.

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

'The environmental impact should be minimal. In any event, we can work around it.'

Mud Slinging

'A high-rise block of flats would give many people a chance to enjoy a rural life...'

Scarecrow holding a sign 'Genetically modified crop', crow comments "Now that is scary"

The grass is always greener.

Frogs jump out of boiling water, but linger in gradually heated water.

Bidenism: Let's Do 1/2 of a Lot of Good Things

Double Rose Bowl

'I find them ineffective myself.'

"Rats, we have to move out: Looks like the Internet is down, the kids are coming out with a ball to play..."

The Global War Against Global Warming

Moot Point: Welcome to members of the debating club on their annual hike.

'Our high prices have helped lower highway fatalities, but do we get any thanks? No.'

'I don't get it. How can you say Leno is better than Letterman?'

"Yes, I've seen a few changes."

Carotene: A carrot with raging hormones.

"If it isn't genetic at all, but just the upshot of growing up in Jersey, will you still love me, Mona?"

"Is America's heartland what people in flyover states call home?"

"It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls."

'First we have to convince the people that good health isn't everything.'

Hektor Karnickle - abandoned as a baby, then adopted and raised by idiots.

Retail construction in a parkway.

"This S.U.V. sports a flame-retardant, electro-static coating. Eco-activists can't burn it and their pamphlets and bumper stickers slide right off!"

'And I say your hot air is contributing to global warming!'

"I wonder how the experts can talk about increasing temperatures within years... the same experts who can't even do a reliable forecast for tomorrow..."