City Slicker Humor Gifts

"Cruz! I'm gonna die!"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

City Boy.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

The Streets - Night

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

City Windfarms.

Corporate Whore.

'I remember when all this was fields.'

"Look, Martha—you contribute, I contribute, we all contribute to the pulse of the city."

Thumbing a Lift.

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

"This city is becoming unlivable."

Entering Megalopolis - next Bucolic area 162 miles.

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

"Can you remember the general shape of our car?"

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

'How would I know if the coast is clear-this is the middle of London!'

Motorway Madness And Urban Roadrage Directions

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

"Hard to believe this was all rain forest just fifteen years ago."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

'Corporate Sydney'