City Slicker Hopeful T-Shirts

'George heard the country was at war... so he's off to live in the city!'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

City Boy.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

The Streets - Night

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

City Windfarms.

'I remember when all this was fields.'

Corporate Whore.

"Look, Martha—you contribute, I contribute, we all contribute to the pulse of the city."

"This city is becoming unlivable."

Thumbing a Lift.

Entering Megalopolis - next Bucolic area 162 miles.

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

"Can you remember the general shape of our car?"

Motorway Madness And Urban Roadrage Directions

'How would I know if the coast is clear-this is the middle of London!'

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

"Hard to believe this was all rain forest just fifteen years ago."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

'Corporate Sydney'