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Citations Needed!

Reading my Critics

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"My kid could do that."

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

S**t Threw a Goose

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

Barbed Pen

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

Agency Moody's comments

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

Wonder Woman: "Trapped in a Man's World"

"It's too academic."

Film Critic

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'... And that's all from this bulletin. But I'll be back with more bad news at six.'

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."